Ab Fab Harry Potter Style: Fashion
by NeoMalfoy
Summary: BBC Comedy Absoulutly Fabulous Harry Potter Style! Harry Potter as Edena Monsoon Draco Malfoy as Patsy Stone... Oh The HORROR of it ALL!!!!
1. AbFabPotter 1/2

Title: Harry Potter AbFab Style

Author: NeoMalfoy

Rating: PG-13 for extreme bad language smoking, drinking and drug use.

Pairings: None (maybe Harry/Draco if you want to dig into Patsy and Eddy¡¯s relationship in future series of the show.) 

Spoilers: Only for AbFab series 1-1 episode 1: Fashion, this script is almost a word for word reconditioning of that script.

Disclaimer: Not Mine wish they where but then they wouldn¡¯t have been published.

The boys are JK Rowling¡¯s and distributed in book form by Raincoast Bloomsbury in Canada and others worldwide. The movie belongs to Warner Bros. I don't make a Cent. Just like to have them as my slaves willing to do anything I wish... Don' worry I'll Put them back nice and clean.

If you are under the legal age to watch AbFab then you are underage to read this! Or if you are easily offended by M/M Slash fiction then Piss Off! Yeh've been warned!

A/N: Ok notch this one up to a love of AbFab. I thought of this on the way home from Toronto after the Mini-slashers convention Ivy Blossom, My boyfriend and I had. Although we didn¡¯t talk AbFab. For those who don¡¯t know AbFab is Absolutely Fabulous a BritCom by Jennifer Saunders from French and Saunders¡¦ you can catch them on Video or DVD. On TV near you in Canada look for them on Comedy Network, in the U.S. check Comedy Central as series 4 is produced in association with them and in England it¡¯s the BBC of course. The script is taken directly from the episode ¡°Fashion¡± from the first series.

Feedback: OH YEAH! Send comments, questions and HOWLERS to 

Harry_Potters_boi@telusmail.net

Character list: HP Character-AbFab Character- AbFab Actor

Harry Potter- Edina (Eddy) Monsoon-Jennifer Saunders

Draco Malfoy- Patricia (Patsy) Stone- Joanna Lumley

Hermione Granger-Saffron (Saffy) Monsoon- Julia Sawalha

Ron Weasley-Bubble-Jane Horrocks

Jonny- Blaise Zabini- Nickolas Grace

Serge- Neville- Never seen in show.

**Scene one-Harry¡¯s Bedroom.**

Harry wakes up. He is strewn across the bed in his all white bedroom. There is a half-drunk bottle of red wine by the bedside and an ashtray full of joint ends. The radio is playing rap music. He comes to leans over and turns off the music.

Hermione- (_from upstairs) Thank you! _

(Harry blows her a huge childish raspberry. It is obvious that he has a terrible hangover. He clutches at his chest.)

Harry- Panic attack! Panic attack!

(He swigs back the remainder of the red wine and searches in vain for a joint in the ashtray. There is the sound of footsteps coming downstairs. They stop outside his door. Harry panics and hides the bottle and ashtray under his sheets.)

Hermione-(_outside the door) It¡¯s nine-thirty and your cars been waiting for an hour._

(The footsteps pass on downstairs. Harry retrieves the bottle and tries to rub the stain of spilled wine off her sheet. He gets up staggers to the window and opens the curtain. The effect of the sunlight blazing though the window into the white room blinds Harry. He falls back in shock, grabs a pair of sunglasses and goes into the bath room.)

**Scene 2- ****Edina****¡¯s kitchen.**

Hermione is sitting at the table reading a paper. In front of her are the empty wine bottles and left over take away trays from Harry and Draco¡¯s binge the night before. Harry enters struggling to appear bright alive and healthy. Hermione watches him icily. 

Harry- (_humming to himself) La, la la, la-la-la. (__He goes to the fridge and gets a bottle of Evian. He swigs it back and it suctions onto his face. He painfully pulls it off.) Heath, health, health, Darling._

He breezes around the kitchen opening cupboards looking for something for breakfast. He opens the dishwashers then the washing machine.

Hermione- Washing Machine.

Harry- La-la, La-la. Absolutely right, Sweetie. _(Opens freezer door) _

Hermione- _(Tapping the wine bottles pointedly with a pen.) Feeling great this morning I suspect are you?_

Harry_-(Slamming the freezer door) Fabulous¡¦ My god Draco can really put it away. __(He gives up looking for something to eat and staggers into a chair.) Stop looking at me like that. What do I have to do to convince you that I¡¯ve given up drinking? __(Pauses.) I had one bloody drink._

Hermione- Have you looked in the mirror this morning? Your eye bags are ruched.

Harry-What are you eating?

Hermione-Toast.

Harry- What¡¯s that on the toast?

Hermione- It¡¯s Honey Harry.

Harry- Honey? That¡¯s not honey sweetie that my bloody royal jelly moisturizer. You¡¯re eating 300 pounds of royal jelly that¡¯s been hand squished for a bee¡¯s backside. And not just any bee but the bloody Gucci of bees. This is the stuff that Jackie Stallone would kill for. (Scrapes the jelly off toast and rubs onto face.) Make momma a cup of coffee¡¦

Hermione- You know where it is, make it yourself.

Harry- I don¡¯t know where it bloody is, do I?

Hermione- Please don¡¯t swear.

Harry- Sweetie¡¦ Darling, please fetch mama¡¦ a cup of coffee. Cause your so cleaver, you know where everything is, Sweetie.

Hermione- Flattery won¡¯t turn me into your slave. The coffee¡¯s on the table in front of you¡¦ Pick up spoon¡¦ Put coffee in cup¡¦ Pour on boiling water.

Harry- Scald hand¡¦ Third-degree burn¡¦ Screaming in agony. Do you really want that on your conscience, Darling?

(Hermione gets up to make coffee)

Harry-Not instant, that¡¯s coffee that¡¯s just been cremated. Ground some beans, I want them entire with life force.

(Hermione puts beans in grinder.)

Harry- Don¡¯t make that face when you grind. I don¡¯t want to drink a cup of your anger¡¦ Anyway I shouldn¡¯t be drinking coffee. _(Has fit grabs coffee beans spray all over counter.) I shouldn¡¯t be drinking bloody coffee. Throw all that coffee away. I should just have fennel¡¦ twig¡¦ tea¡¦_

(Hermione sits down.)

Harry- Oh god sweetie look at the time I should be in the office_. (Grabbing the telephone he rings the office. Then he grabs Hermione and puts the phone to her ear.) Sweetie tell them I¡¯ve left. Tell them it¡¯s traffic door to door and I¡¯m not well, I¡¯m not well._

Hermione- hallo¡¦ Harry's sitting her in his bed-clothes¡¦

Harry-(_shrieks and grabs phone) Bed-clothes! She knows nothing about fashion. Now Ron, darling, I¡¯m in a dreadful panic. I¡¯m literally out the door when my bloody car turns up. I understand that traffic¡¯s awful; I¡¯m trying to keep a lid on things this end. I know you manage¡¦ I¡¯m on my way¡¦ I am chanting as we speak. __(He puts down the phone. Hermione smirks, Harry notices.) You¡¯re not a Buddhist¡¦ you wouldn¡¯t understand._

Hermione- You did it for a week. Which admittedly, for you, is a record 

Harry- Darling it¡¯s not a fad. It¡¯s not like crystals_. (He starts to chant but can¡¯t remember it)_

Hermione- Please stop.

Harry- You wouldn¡¯t say that if you knew how much we owed to my chanting. A lot of things might not be here¡¦ this house might not be here I chanted for gorgeous house. I chanted to be successful and to believe in myself. _(Chants) Please let me make some more money so that I can buy Hermione some more books and a car. __(Pauses) In Buddhist obviously¡¦ not in English when I do it properly._

Hermione- What is it some sort of cosmic cash machine?

Harry-Don¡¯t be so cynical, to day I need just a bit of bloody support.

Hermione- why¡¦ why is to day such a panic anyway? It¡¯s only a fashion show and you¡¯ve had six months to prepare it. Why is everything so hysterical? All you got to do is play a bit of music, turn on the lights, get some people who¡¯ve thrown up everything they¡¯ve ever eaten and send them down a catwalk. Greater feats have been achieved in less time and with less fuss.

Harry- Not quite with it are you darling?

Hermione- Major motion pictures are made; huge concerts are put on in stadiums. For god sake, five-hundred thousand troops we mobilized in the Gulf and a war fought and won in less time and without everyone involved having a nervous breakdown and being sent flowers. It cannot be that difficult.

Harry- Darling every troop didn¡¯t have to contain Yasmine LeBon. Te generals didn¡¯t require beg hugs after every maneuver. And the whole operation did not have to be coordinated to rap and Japanese advent garde pipe music! Because if it had I think the outcome might have been rather different, don¡¯t you? _(She gets up, then sits down again) I forgot to ring Chukhani. __(Pauses) Edina¡¦ Green¡¦ Thanks __(hangs up) don¡¯t look at me like that there is more to it you know._

Hermione- Of course there is. The Bill.

Harry- He doesn¡¯t just pick the colour himself. Now listen, because you might learn something¡¦ It¡¯s channelled to him by and ancient spirit, it relates to who I was in a previous existence.

Hermione- who where you then I suppose the Elizabeth Taylor of the Ming Dynasty. Face up to it you¡¯re just a mad fat old cow.

Harry-_(gets up in rage) will you stop saying fat. I know you¡¯re only saying it to annoy me._

Hermione- no I¡¯m not. I¡¯m saying it because it¡¯s true.

(Harry flies across the room and bangs some objects on the counter in fury.)

Hermione- What? What happened then?

Harry- Why, why do you pick on everything I do? All I ask is for a couple of tiny little things to get me though¡¦ tiny little pleasures¡¦ little crutches to help me get though life.

Hermione- Get though? Harry you¡¯ve absolved yourself of all resposibity. You live from self induced crisis to self educed crisis. Someone chooses what you wear. Someone does your brain. Someone tells you what to eat. And then three times a week someone sticks a hose up your bum and flushes it all out of you.

Harry- It¡¯s called colonic irrigation darling and it¡¯s not to sniffed at.

Hermione- Why can¡¯t you just go to the toilet like normal people?

Harry- is that what you want me to be? Normal? Some boring old normal toilet-goer? ¡°Where¡¯s Harry¡± ¡°He¡¯s on the toilet.¡± ¡°But I want to somewhere exciting and meet interesting people¡±¡¦ ¡°She can¡¯t take you she¡¯s on the toilet.¡± Well they say anyone can go to the toilet.

Hermione- The obviously haven¡¯t seen you drunk.

Harry- Can I just say thank you, bloody, thank you for giving me a supportive start to a rather important day. A lot of daughters might have offered to come along and help me today. But no. you¡¯ve probably got something rather exiting to listen to on Radio 4, or some new exhibit of text tubes at the science museum to visit. So it doesn¡¯t matter I shall go alone. _(She changes moods.) There¡¯s a party after, I shall go to that alone as well shall I?_

(She gets up and stomps upstairs. Hermione sits impassively at the table. After a moment Harry slinks slowly back into the room, looking at Hermione with a pathetic sad expression on her face. Hermione doesn¡¯t look up. She knows what¡¯s coming.)

Hermione- No. It¡¯s your drama you act in it. I won¡¯t be your accessory. ¡°What shall I wear the ¡®daughter¡¯ or the Dior?¡± 

Harry- Time of the month sweetie?

Hermione- No.

Harry- just though you looked as if you were retaining water, that¡¯s all. _(Pats Hermione¡¯s bum.) I¡¯ve got some marvelous pills, you just pee it out over night. __(Pauses) You¡¯re not seeing your father tonight are you?_

Hermione- No, go get dressed.

Harry- _(Goes to leave, but creeps back even more pathetically than before.) Should I have surgery?_

Hermione- Yes.

(Harry leaves.)

Hermione- get your mouth sewn up.

Harry- still here heard that!

**Scene Three: Hallway.**

Harry comes down stairs wearing a psychedelic LaCroix catsuit. He is on a mobile phone, carrying an armful of jackets.

Harry- I pay you to interpret my dreams. Can¡¯t you at least try to find a hidden depth? Yes well I¡¯m simply not willing to believe that I am simply that obvious! And how come if you¡¯re the bloody psychic psychologist how come I always have to call you? _(Puts phone down.) ¡®Mione I¡¯m off but I won¡¯t see you later cause you don¡¯t love me._

(Hermione comes into the hallway.)

Hermione- when will you be home? _(Looks discussed at outfit.)_

Harry- It¡¯s a Lacroix. It can¡¯t be that bad. A bit tight maybe. Anyway they¡¯ll think ¡°Wow it¡¯s a Lacroix!¡± I can¡¯t find anything to go with it.

Hermione- perhaps I could throw up on something for you. _(Harry puts on a jacket.) Oh I see someone already has._

Harry- Jean Muir!

(The doorbell rings. Harry pulls open the front door. Draco is standing there.)

Draco- Darling¡¦

Harry- Drakes¡¦

Draco- Your cars here¡¦ Thought I might scrounge a coffee.

(Draco walks around the corner and reels back at the sight of Hermione.)

Draco- There¡¯s something horrid on the stairs¡¦

Hermione- It¡¯s me.

Draco- I¡¯m not blind! _(To Harry) Harry what are you wearing!?_

Harry- Lacroix. _(Indicates the name woven onto the front.)_

Draco- it¡¯s fabulous.

Hermione- why doesn¡¯t Draco go with you.

Harry- Yes. We¡¯ll talk in the car. Bye sweetie. _(Kisses Hermione). Goodbye darling. Have a little haircut. Have a little bob._

Hermione- Don¡¯t be¡¦

Harry- What?

Hermione- Don¡¯t be¡¦ late¡¦

(Harry blows her a kiss as he leaves.)

Hermione- ¡¦ or drunk.


	2. AbFabPotter 2/2

**Scene 4: Inside the Jaguar:**

_Draco and Harry are slumped in the back of the Jaguar being driven. The both light cigarettes._

Harry- stop me from drinking today, Drakes. ¡®Mione has threatened to leave home again.

Draco- Darling you don¡¯t drink.

Harry- I¡¯m not a drinker but you know what she¡¯s like¡¦ _(Picks up phone from her bag.) I¡¯m just going to call in. __(he dials)_

Draco- What will you drink?

Harry- Water.

(Draco gives a blank stare.)

Harry- It¡¯s a mixer, Drakes. You have it with whisky. _(On phone) Ron, it¡¯s me. I¡¯m in the car coming in. how are things on your end..? Models¡¦? Good. Lights¡¦? Good. Guest list¡¦? Will just do your best. I¡¯m rushing._

Draco- I tried not drinking once¡¦ Worst eight hours of my life. Are you going straight to the office.

Harry- Yes.

Draco- Past Harvey Nichols?

Harry- No, Drakes.

Draco- Well it is almost Lunch.

Harry- _(looking at his watch) Ten-thirty, Drakes._

(Draco¡¯s face pleads)

Harry- Look we can do Harvey Nichols quickly, pick up lunch and take it to the office.

Draco- Whatever. But remember, darling, it¡¯s your company¡¦ You¡¯re the boss¡¦ You can do what you want. Don¡¯t let them pressure you.

Harry- _(Picks up phone) I¡¯ll just ring the office¡¦_

Draco- You¡¯ll kill yourself the way you work.

Harry- Right! _(Shoves phone back into bag.) Will you come to the show later, ¡®Mione's refused and I need just a little bit of bloody support._

Draco- Of course you do. And of course I will.

Harry- Deserted by son and daughter.

Draco- Were is Neville?

Harry- Pot holing with his university. I don¡¯t want to talk about it.

Draco- I mean some times I wonder what the point of having children is¡¦ if their not ay your launches. Did you tell them how important this was to you?

Harry- I faxed the bloody Dean, the bollocky halls of residence and the buggery mountain rescue. What more can I do.

Draco- Nothing and you shouldn¡¯t have to. My god look at you you¡¯ve been a fantastic father. And what for? Left here if we¡¯re going to Harvey Nic¡¯s.

Harry- _(To driver.) Left._

**Scene 5: Outside Harry¡¯s Offices.**

The Jaguar pulls up, Harry and Draco get out. Harry talks over-loudly as he walks in.

Harry- I wouldn¡¯t drive around in that huge car, pouring out pollution, but there were three people in that car!

Draco- Oh shut up Harry, no one can hear you.

Harry- _(on phone) Ron, I¡¯m coming though the door now._

**Scene 6: Inside the office:**

Harry and Draco enter.

Harry-right don¡¯t panic! I¡¯m here. 

(They enter main office followed by Ron)

Harry- Ron?

Ron- I think everything¡¯s just about done.

Draco- There you are darling. I told you things would manage without you.

Harry- Lights¡¦ music¡¦ stage¡¦ press¡¦ tickets¡¦ models¡¦ designers?

Ron- All done.

Harry- Right, Ron did all the models turn up?

Ron- yeah, every single one.

Harry- And the¡¦?

Ron- ¡¦ Oh except one.

Harry- You¡¯re not going to tell me it¡¯s Yasmine LeBon?

Ron- No.

Harry- Thank¡¦

Ron- No Sorry yes¡¦ Yasmine LeBon is ill.

Harry- _(Nearly Fainting) Oh my buggery bullocks, why the bloody hell didn¡¯t you tell me earlier?_

Ron- Her husband rang and said ¡°Simon LeBon¡± Which it thought was rather amusing.

Harry- Amusing?

Ron- Yeah¡¦ Very modern of him to have taken his wife¡¯s name. Still I phoned around and I think I¡¯ve found a replacement.

Harry- Who?

Ron- Betty Boo.

Harry- SHIT!

Ron- Some of the designers aren¡¯t happy but I said you¡¯d speak to them.

Harry- This is all your fault Draco.

Draco- It¡¯s all fixable.

Harry- _(to Ron) How¡¯s the celebrity and VIP list looking._

Ron- Good¡¦ I think. But you know me, I don¡¯t know anyone.

Harry- Just tell me about Joan Collins, Stephanie Powers, Paloma Picasso, Catherine Deneuve, Charlotte Rampling, Give me names darling.

Ron- So far?

Harry- So far.

Ron- So far- Sinnita and Anne Robinson Definate, we¡¯re chasing Anneka Rice. Gave up on Norma Major.

Harry- Get my phone book¡¦ Princess Di has to have¡¦

Ron- Anne

Harry-¡¦ somebody to sit beside. You don¡¯t get Princess Di¡¦

Ron- Anne.

Harry- ¡¦to a major fashion event and sit her next to¡¦_ (Stops and looks at Ron.)_

Ron- Princess Anne.

Harry- As wall as?

Ron- Instead of¡¦ Only. Possibly with daughter.

Harry- Why?

Ron- well there was a bit of a mix up. I didn¡¯t make the call. But she¡¯s game and a really nice person.

Harry- I wouldn¡¯t care if she was Mother bloody Theresa¡¦ I doesn¡¯t matter for our purposes. What we need is a Princess with a press following and a designer dress on her back.

Draco- Not someone who looks like she runs up her own.

Ron- Her people were a bit cagey about which designer she favored.

Draco- The only label she wears is ¡®Drip Dry¡¯

Harry- Right let¡¯s take stock. We¡¯ve got three hours.

Draco- Right I¡¯m off. Are we eating.

Harry- Yes. What ever French Italian.

Draco- Nobody¡¯s eating that sort of food any more, there¡¯s this fabulous new Japanese in Mayfair. Everything is raw. Anything with a pulse is lunch.

Ron- Oh. The magazine called for you Draco. They need some decisions about this months cover.

Draco- Oh really what do they need to know? It¡¯s the same every month¡¦ a model in make-up with a vacant look on her face. I might look in on the way. See you Harry, here I¡¯ll leave the bottle. _(Sets bottle of wine he¡¯s been drinking from half full on table)_

Harry- No! I¡¯ll need a clear head.

Draco- Do you want some coke? _(Produces small baggie of white powder)_

Harry- No.

Draco- save it for later.

Harry- Oh by the way who were you with last night?

Draco- Oh just some windscreen washer I picked up at some traffic light. Bum so tight he was bouncing off the walls. _(Mood changes) Sweetie you¡¯re my best friend you know that, remember I know you better then your daughter and anything you do is ok by me¡¦ Can I take your car?_

Harry- Oh Drakes¡¦ Okay as long as it¡¯s back by six.

(Draco exits)

Harry- Right! Get me a copy of every record and PR Company in the country, a copy of Who¡¯s Who and the latest issue of Hello! Magazine. Let¡¯s get celebrated up!

**Scenes 7 to 13: Harry working Montage¡¦.**

_Clips from the next three hours of Harry and Rom working_

**7: _Harry making phone calls._**

**8:_ Harry- __(to bubble) We¡¯ll make it a charity event¡¦ Get on to Princess Anne¡¯s People, tell them everyone there will be mentally ill and we¡¯ll sponsor her to wear a designer dress and make sure she realizes that if she doesn¡¯t those poor children won¡¯t get a thing._**

**9: _Harry tries to resist the wine¡¦_**

Harry- Ron get four huge video screens. I want them down the sides of the catwalk. Flash up pictures of sad but beautiful children, happy gay couples. And slogans like, ¡®no pollution¡¯, ¡®world health¡¯, ¡®fashion cares.¡¯ Print up thousands of new invites on green totally recycled paper and cab them ¡®round to everybody.

**10: _Harry selecting photos of children, whales, seals, trees, gay people, disabled people, starving people._**

**11: _Harry dips tongue in wine._**

**12: Harry- Ron¡¦ Press release. Free champagne reception. Get on to Moet tell them it¡¯s charity. Ring Joan Collins¡¦ Tell her it¡¯s free champagne.**

**13: Harry- I don¡¯t want to wear this I want to look hip and unbiased get me something from each collection.**

**Scene 14: Fashion Show Corridor.**

_A small corridor, close to catwalk entrance, is very crowded with models. Designers are doing last minute pinning, punctured by kisses and hugs and sips of __Champaign__. In the background there is music and applause. Harry is amongst the crowd squashed against a wall. As various designers go by he whispers words of encouragement. There is special hugs for Jonny who has had a nervous breakdown. Two purple covered models come of the catwalk hugging and kissing Harry. Harry leaves corridor._

**Scene 15: Dressing room.**

_People coming going, drinking, flowers are everywhere. As well as half naked models. Draco is slumped on a sofa Harry enters looking a disaster._

Harry- Fabulous out there. A huge success Drakes. Names¡¦ names¡¦ names¡¦ Givenchy, St Laurent, Lagerfeld, English Vouge, French Vouge, American Vouge, Aby-bloody-ssininan Vouge! All the rich bitches from New York, Huchenbuper, Hockwender, Vanderbilt, Huckenfuckenbergen!

Draco- A whole row of skeletons with Jackie O hairdos.

Harry- Selena Scott and Jeff Banks couldn¡¯t even get a ticket! I¡¯m going down in history as the woman who put Princess Anne in a Vivian Westwood Basque!

**Scene 16: Harry¡¯s Kitchen.**

_Late. Hermione is sitting in her dressing gown reading. Every now and then she looks out the window._

**Scene 15: Harry¡¯s Office.**

_Late night. Dim lights Draco and Harry enter. They are very drunk and still drinking. They are a mess._

Draco- Let¡¯s go away.

Harry- When?

Draco- Now. On holiday.

Harry- I can¡¯t I promised ¡®Mione I¡¯d come home. Don¡¯t make me go on holiday, Drakes.

_(Crawls over sofa)_

Draco- Darling you need a holiday. How long has she been around for? She¡¯s been around forever.

Harry- She¡¯s sixteen.

Draco- sixteen!? Get rid of her. Montserrat, I want to go to Montserrat.

Harry- Look at me Drakes, your looking at a huge success. I¡¯ve got fabulous kids who adore me. _( Heaves into tears.) Just moved myself. Where was I?_

Draco- You were about to tell me about there bitch mothers¡¦

Harry- I married the two biggest shits in the world. I don¡¯t know what went wrong with Katie¡¦ We just adored each other¡¦

Draco- you¡¯re gay.

Harry- That wasn¡¯t the reason¡¦

Draco- _(moving to sofa) let¡¯s go on holiday._

Harry- Don¡¯t start making me go on holiday Drakes! Look she can¡¯t know I¡¯ve had a drink¡¦ _(Referring to Hermione)_

Draco- It¡¯s only Sake Drunk. She¡¯s not your mother.

Harry- Not my mother¡¦ she¡¯s not my bloody mother, my mother never knew did she¡¦

**Scene 15: Flashback**

_1968 Harry is staggering up the path Draco and a couple of boys say goodbye. Harry is drunk and stoned¡¦ staggering up the walk._

Minerva- Hello, Harry dear. Good Concert? Why don¡¯t you come in and tell us about it? You father and I are still up.

_(Minerva goes into the sitting room. Harry collapses, he gets up very slowly. A massive amount of concentration is required to follow. Minerva¡¯s face is very close to his.)_

Minerva- Where was the concert dear? Eel Pie Island again? Who was it? Anyone we should have heard of? The Beatles, The Stones? The Rolling Who? _(Sniffs Harry¡¯s breath) is that cider I smell on you breath¡¦.._

**Scene 16: Outside House(present)**

_Harry¡¯s car pulls up. Draco gets out first and goes to open Harry¡¯s door._

Draco- _(to Harry) She¡¯s not here, darling._

_(The door opens and Harry falls out ass first onto the pavement. Hermione appears at front door. Draco gets back into the car and leaves. Harry stagers up the path finally falling into the window well. Hermione turns and slams the door behind her.)_

**Scene 17: Inside Harry¡¯s kitchen.**

_Looking out the window. Harry pulls himself to the window and flattens his face to the glass._

Harry- Hermione sweetie let me in¡¦_(Gets mad) sweetie let me in! DARLING LET ME IN¡¦_

_(Roll Credits! as credits roll we see Harry¡¯s bedroom Hermione is chasing Harry around bed trying to get him into it¡¦ his is being difficult and is looking for his joint box¡¦ she gets him in bed, he gets out this keeps happening till we end credits and fade to black¡¦)_

The End.


End file.
